I was watching the news this morning when the reporter talked about a crash that occurred in the early hours of this morning. A man had driven into two girls aged fourteen and sixteen. The fourteen-year-old had died. The sixteen-year-old was in hospital in a critical condition. My very first thoughts were of Amelia and Rosie, who are the same age. Later, the news reported that the sixteen-year-old had also died and the driver had been arrested for murder, not reckless driving as previously described.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about these poor girls, their families, their friends, but also of the driver and his loved ones.

I think this has impacted me so much because the victims are the same age as my daughters. It brings it home to me how much it would destroy me if anything ever happened to them, but also it bothers me so dramatically because it really made me think about how life can change in an instant. How life can stop in a split second with no warning. How our thoughts, our choices and our actions can – and do – impact so many people in so many different ways.

These girls’ lives are over in the blink of an eye. Their parents’ lives are changed forever. Never will their lives be the same. The girls may have had siblings whose lives have been altered immeasurably, as have the lives of grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbours, and teachers.

The driver’s life, as he knew it, is over. From a choice he made to allegedly take drugs and then drive, he has changed the entire course of his life, and he can’t ever change it back. It’s too late. His life will now be about prison and hopefully about regret, remorse and in time possibly about positive change and eventually forgiveness.

An internet search led me to a newspaper report from last year about a driving offence he committed in the same car he drove in last night. He was charged with driving without due care and attention as well as refusing to stop the car when directed by an officer and having inadequate tread on one of his tyres. The date of this offence… exactly two years ago today. Exactly two years before he mowed down and killed two young girls. It’s too much of a coincidence for me. It’s almost as though the Universe was giving him a warning. Stop now! Listen! Change before it’s too late. He did not heed the warning.

His parents’ lives have changed forever. They too have lost a child, albeit in a different way. His grandparents have lost their grandson. All of his extended family have lost him. Even if he one day comes back to them from prison, he will never be the person they used to know and love. This will change him. For better or worse. His friends are affected.

When he made the decision last night to take drugs, he would never for a moment think about the many people his decision would affect. He would not have been capable of knowing that his decision would force a mum of four, several counties away, to spend her whole day thinking about those poor girls, their families, him, his future, his family, his loved ones and the many people affected. He didn’t know that when he took those drugs, that mum would be, just twenty-four short hours later, writing in her diary because a decision he made would cause her world to tremble.

He didn’t stop to think that when you throw a stone, it has a ripple effect, and that effect goes on and on and on and on and on. It touches the lives of people you know and people you don’t. It affects now, and it affects the future.

The possibilities that may come of his decision-making are endless. The possibilities are bad; there’s a slim chance some could be good. There could be depression, suicide, heartbreak. People could lose their jobs through grief. Marriages could break down. Families could split up. People may act badly out of anger and grief. Endless possibilities.

We are powerful human beings. We have immense and immeasurable power in our hands at every given moment. Every single choice and decision we make, every second of the day, has a ripple effect. Every single thing we say or do impacts someone in some way – good or bad. That then affects the next person and the next and the next.

My actions, every decision I make, every word I say, impact those around me. I have the power to change people’s lives with my power as much as the driver did with his.

My choice is simple.

There is no choice. Always try to make sure the ripple effect has positive, happy consequences as much as I possibly can because it impacts everyone, everywhere, and I will most likely never even know it.

Because of the driver’s decision last night, three things happened to me during the ripple effect.

• I spent the day thinking about it. Josh, who is a similar age to the driver, spent the day thinking about it. Amelia and Rosie spent the day thinking about it. Josh used my laptop to see if he could find out more – he has a friend of a friend who knows the driver. When my laptop key got stuck, he hit it. I got angry and raised my voice at him. He shouted back, lost his temper and slammed a few doors. I called him an idiot. He went mad at me for calling him an idiot; we argued some more. He stormed out. I sat indoors worrying about him until he came back. He bought me chocolate; I said sorry.
• I wrote this. I thought deeply about the ripple effect. I told the older children about the ripple effect. That will have a ripple effect too.
• I really understood for the first time in a long time how we’re all connected. How everything we do affects everyone else.

The driver made a decision that has changed lives. Many lives. Right now, those changes all seem like negative changes, and undoubtedly they are, but somewhere down the line, one day far from now, some of those changes may, just may, turn out to create something positive. Sadly, nothing can ever change last night’s events. Nothing can bring back those girls. Nothing can restore the peace in their loved one’s hearts. But hopefully one day some small bit of good can come from this. I don’t know what, and right now I don’t know how that’s even possible, or indeed, if it even is.

Hopefully, the good can start to happen now. With me. By reminding myself about the ripple effect and making sure that what I do, what decisions I make, positively touches people. Maybe in some way, the driver’s catastrophic decision has already had a very small positive – with me – if it’s possible to even look at it in that way.