At my counselling session today, I told Jane that I think I’m too needy. Jane asked me to tell her what being needy means for me.

Needy means I am lacking in love. I need and like a lot of physical affection. I love being hugged and kissed. I love having sex; I love the intimacy and closeness it brings, the feeling of being wanted. When I don’t get that, I feel in great need of it. I feel empty, scared, panicky, unloved, unwanted.

I hate the word needy. I find it ugly, desperate. I feel I am less of a person when I’m needy; I’m less attractive. I become childish, upset, angry, irrational. I feel hurt and confused. I wonder if I am unlovable.

What do I need to do to get what I want, what I need? What should I say for someone to love me enough to hold me, kiss me, make love to me? I feel as though I’m not good enough. I feel invisible, and my needs go unnoticed. My cries are ignored.

Needy means sadness because nothing will come of it. No one will care enough for me to fulfil my needs. I will be alone and physically hurting and aching from my neediness. Having needs equals pain as my needs remain unmet.

Needy means pain.